Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Fashion hijab

Totally what I can relate myself being a Muslim hijabi in japan social life ! Lol some little thing a to embrace in life

Sunday, October 19, 2014

tokai agm

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم الحمد لله

i love tokai i love the people and i wish i hadn't mingle with the tokyo people from the start.
its true in tokyo all the opportunities are there but hey one's the seed in rotten the flesh shows. (my idiom ) HAHA ! i wish i can stay in this ukhwah forever.
so yes, every weekend i am not at home. sorry . the current house is a mess but forgive me as i wish to re-furnish my house with better furniture and decorations. but gotta save a lot of money for that. (sweat)

so yes back to tokai story, the agm was so peaceful, just dinner together and then the real event starts .  nothing called propaganda "fishing" for peoples vote or anything. just a very simple and harmonious event. nothing political nothing personal just peaceful club for unity i hope.
for them its been a while since guys and girl get together for such event and it was quite awkward. i well never the less couldn't hide my true nature of mingling with everybody. call me any names u want but i aint a hypocrite for sure. will stick to my roots ! YOLO

the real main plan of going there is actually to help the tokai and to know whats really going on. and also to put me into their ajk.the strategy was they are support to lobby me in front of the crowd. gotta say i felt betrayed by the 2 so called ajk of kuj tokyo. or is it me who don't understand the situation . what ever it is thats the ugly truth about human. they don't walk the talk. humans are unpredictable and theres no way (prevent me Allah) from becoming like those people.
either way with no sense of hesitance i elect myself as my own ajk of shizuoka. fck but yea fck ! whatever it is, i already have a secured post in tokyo so why i want a post in tokai ? to re-build the tokai kuj. to help and support and above all to have friendly working environment.
and theres always an individual who takes thing for themselves. having all those "talks" saying well bragging to be exact about themselves. my my my thats so not my way. what more promoting their company and all. speaking of company can i really ask, did ur pay tax for all the income you got ?!

the best part of it is met some familiar faces in gifu and also super senior of mine who graduated and works in nagoya. plus, met long lost friend of ibt too! a lot of them ! my housemates and also the "member" from my batch. thanx for the ride! wish had more time to just sit and have a long deep talk. i can share my experience all day cuz will never have those awkward XY-XX feeling. what ever it is, good luck chasing what you want. just be confident !
and this morning read my zemi book with the accompany of a very lovely senior. she had this morning sickness (so-the-called) cuz she was pregnant. my my my preggie while studying ? can't imagine those strong heart people. thats what drove me to write this blog and finish my work by tonight no matter what ! hey hey ho !

photo credit to fb

week work !

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم الحمد لله

and its the healths and sports day holiday in japan .
so the past few weekends i am barely at my home.
last week was aidiladha , this week had ASEAN fest and also homeless project.
the next day went to help a group of production people to do their shooting in shibuya
no handsomely rewarded pay check was made, but only a gratitude of some amount.

asean fest was a mess. received the wrong mc text which was used last year (plus half and hour before the event starts with the most micro font size that i have ever seen before )
glad that my session was the last and meaning i got 3 hours to mend and translate the english text to japanese. what ever it is the task u got, how horrible it is , u just gotta get it done and thats how i did it. having trouble translating of course so putting egoism aside, i asked for japanese help ! all hail japanese ! yay !
but gotta admit my emcee wasn't awesome had problem as in how to make it informal. wasn't good in creating a crowd or anything cuz i have been really formal and serious in doing emcee. but its a good and new experience for this tiny individual from shizuoka. and yea phillipines had a hell of a fashion show. they had a live singing and awesome storyline ! why didn't malaysia think of that ?!

that night went well with the charity event of homeless project in shinjuku .
but there was this incident where the lady shouted back at the volunteer because they didn't greet her in anyway and just left the food by her sleeping area. guessed that she had this egoism where she was taken back by giving her free food. she said she can get it (buy it) with her own money and she doesn't need it for free. some were startled and stunned by her high pitch voice but, not to brag i had this experienced ways too much. simply words of (excuse) came out of my mouth, with my hands shut down, bowing for apologies. then came the leader of the event, saying sorry but he was by accident putting his hands on the shoulder (adjusting his backpack), and this made the lady even angrier . but somehow somewhat the situation was under control.

i gotta say from the volunteer homeless project i learnt but i believed that it is not enough . tho in the group i talk the most and yet i felt not enough. i wonder to those who didn't ask any question or didn't event make an effort to go in front and have a conversation what do they get by the end of the day ?

then the day after went to shibuya for some interviewing session. learnt to hold the mic the proper way but failed the art of attraction. i got to know this mass media guy who is now a freelancer working for a show in tv al-hijrah. what ever it is to get a project, one need to have that will to fight and also the talking mouth . omg !
never the less met a mauled who converted to islam and married a converted japanese lady too. he was from shizuoka ken, unfortunately he cut all his connection with his family due to the conversion. sad and inspiring story to share actually.
all in all alhamdulillah
pic credit to Facebook

Japanese love story literature

Something to think about

nak termuntah i baca kisah jiwang japanese literature ni. banyak sangat la les curang nya dan banyak sangat la ketagihan untuk dapatkan perhatian lelaki. saya perlu pembersihan jiwa ! ASAP ! 

Monday, October 6, 2014


Salam eidul adha !

Today was my first time celebrating Malaysian event at the embassy . And let's go straight to the point. Malaysia Embassy in japan ,well I won't say it suck completely but it's well managed ? I mean the food is like cheap and come on its eidul adha ( hari raya korban) so meat is like the main menu ( supposedly ) yet we are eating curry and rice and bread. There's only one option for meat which is the fried chicken. Maybe I am whining and complaining but please that's like basic. this isn't rocket science for haven't sake. To cater for 300 plus guest who's coming is indeed hard but at least show more effort please .

The praying area was comfortable tho ! Kudos on that :)

Met lots of kantou people and lots of Malaysia who work in japan too. The real Palm was to go house hoping but end up at one house only because well everyone end up gathering at the house we visited . Easy job :)
Went to this MAS officer's house and mingle with their children . The oldest boy said that he has been staying abroad for well since he is 6 years old. And now he is 15 years old. I won't say I am jealous of his life ( mainly because they can't speak the national language ) it's not their fault since they were enrolled in British international school but, family should encourage to speak the mother tongue language. Plus, what I love about living in Malaysia is u always have friends and family to hang out with. Imagine your life keep on moving and won't have that sense of belonging for one place. Cuz ur heart keeps changing to adapt to the new atmosphere . And because of that I am grateful living a normal life. Entering the house was so soothing. It's as if I am not in japan ( but not in Malaysia either) lol because of the house layout and an open garden. I miss my home. It's not big but just enough for me. Well I actually miss my family like crazy.

but theres this one feeling sparks in my heart, what if i stay abroad and not go back to malaysia. as much as i wanna help my own country, why not help it in the other way. thats from far. as much as i love malaysia sometimes you feel like taking the easy job you know. forget about all the problem and let the others handle. but what if the leaders aren't the smart people you wished for, then u ought to put the blame on yourself because you aren't participating in shaping the new malaysia and trying to escape the obligation by becoming a normal citizen . aaaaah ! i am so not good in expressing my feelings. now i am confused more whether to stay and work in japan or go back to malaysia. Ya Allah please guide me. but for now all i have to do is finish my study aint i. what else can i do apart from this ?

btw yea we are having rays in the rain. typhoon is coming to japan. japan is just to dangerous but hey we are still surviving. not to mention my bus was delayed for 3 hours. omg !
pray for my internship presentation tomorrow. since i can't attend the real day, gonna take a video and just play it during the real presentation day. talk about technology .

some pictures for the day


Sent from my iPhone

Sunday, October 5, 2014

Malam raya

It's Malam raya Eiduladha !

People back in Australia, New Zealand and America had their celebration already !
While I am off to tokyo to celebrate in embassy.

What I find interesting tonight is might end up changing to Microsoft back .

Saturday, October 4, 2014

summer ends

and bismillah
summer just end. its new semester new weather new change of clothes.
its Autumn !

this year too many event touches my hearts and too many incident that make me grew stronger , better and insyallah towards the right way.

  • the shortest ramadhan that i ever felt 
  • aidilfitri with exam 
  • met and awesomely supportive friend by coincidence in a coffee shop
  • a heartbreaking final exam 
  • did 2 internship in japan
  • climbed mount fuji 
  • went to hokkaido with an awesome exchange student friend (no one can be replace )
  • went to greece with malaysian friends
  • went to turki and fall for the whole night
and now, new semester kicks in , i still haven't get a hang of it. i am suppose to study really well cuz thats what people keep on telling me. but what i really want to do is another different story.
some may think i should chase my dream, but personally in life it isn't actually ur happiness that counts. seeing others being happy is actually the utmost happiness that you can achieve. 
to do for others is better than for yourself.
never be snobbish.

and today had presentation with my intern mates. its in dead nerve wrecking . whats worst is that, i realised that i lost my communication skills, i don't event look at the audiences eyes, i end up just reading those darn boring slides. why does it feels that i am becoming more and more japanese. lets be neutral, in this case, lets not follow how japanese way of presenting. lets talk more and write less. sadly i knew all that, but yet my actions are gradually becoming like the locals. and one more thing that i discover is the japanese way of thinking really is complicated. everything has to be detailed. a slideshow needs to have a story behind it. not just a plain story but without one , you slide show presentation ant worth it .
and i am going to take lesson and try to change myself.
amin ! 

Tuesday, February 11, 2014


and its my birthday .

waking up with all the wishes is something that i won't forget.
love the people around me.
things that i learnt up till this moment are something that i won't forget.
islam taught me everything in life. its all written. islam won't ask you to sit back and just read alquran and learn about life. you have to try it yourself. you have to work it to own it ! thats barakah . Allahuakhbar

although you give 100% to others, you won't get it back 100%, those are the feeling that i have to conquer. though i know the reality but i always lives in fantasy cause it seems promising. but there will be a point where reality and fantasy divine.
this lesson will help me prepare if i wanna make my own foundation. a foundation to help others.
and some will forget you along the way, while others will love you more.
i promised myself to have a big heart to not becoming a selfish, but putting others ahead of you.
and i will try to strive to be one even with the negative atmosphere surrounding me.those atmosphere will actually help me through the day.

keep praying for finals.

Friday, January 10, 2014


and its a new year 2014 ~ !

haven't been writing much ? nah i shall say i am lying if i say i haven't been writing much , in fact i haven't been writing anything at all. and new year is here. i am turning 21 years old which i didn't find interesting at all. more challenges came , more task to be accomplished.it shows how a lazy person like me think. everything is troublesome , everything is hard, but ironically i actually love challenges.  theres the duniawi and akhirawi. whatever it is,the main topic that i wanna focus in this post is

 status .

the human race society is indeed big. i would say you are lying to say that the world is small when u met the people from the past, it is actually The Almighty, Allah's will that u met each other. what i am trying to say is that there is alway a reason for what had happened. that part is qada' and qadar. i aint that expert in religion just yet but somehow islam make me stable. please don't have the misunderstanding that muslim are weak because without religion they can't move on, its just that islam make you strong towards the right and calm way. some might stop reading my post to this point because i am touching the sensitive issue in Malaysia which is , religion. say, think, mock what ever u like, that is ur freedom to do so and as for me it is my freedom to write .

incident happens and that brought me to this point that i will do what i feel at the same time think what is right and carry on . while if others think its disturbing , thats fine. i aint gonna cross your line. because the world , the society has a variety of status.everyone isn't the same. theres the mediocre , poor, aristocrat , rich and more. when i was in subang jaya i am the most angelic person ( as i recalled ) but as i go out to the world , went to a boarding school , i met lots of different kinds of people. from all background. though my boarding school isn't "that" diverse but it had shown me , opened my eye to many types of good people. i met a lot of people smarter than me, richer than me, poorer than me , stupider than me, more athletic than me and the list goes on . and even that not-so-small-not-so-big subang jaya theres so many level and different people with different status . then as i leave high school with a very clean and confident CV, i met the most outgoing, genius people and fun people in college. but what amaze me is that status isn't being measured there, the most satanic , or the most obnoxious students looks the same from the outside. i couldn't find the big gap in status. then when i decided to switch program and went to japan preparation school i had the utmost culture shock in my life. i had met a new "species'' or shall i say a new level of status . it isn't as variety as i expected but its the same typical norm status kind of people. then now, i am surrounded by japanese, a whole new level of status .

to cut short, with of kinds of status in this world , which would you choose to be close with ?
what am i gonna do in my future undertakings ?
am i gonna go deep into the malaysian upper-high rank status people ?
or am i gonna be modest and blend with the majority ?

as u go up the ladder , we get a higher status, higher pay, higher egoism .
so be careful ! :D