Sunday, November 25, 2012

two more days, brother



its saturday ! 10 muharram. alhamdulillah berjaya jugak puasa on 9th and 10th muharram. sangat la menyakitkan sebab berada di rumah. keletihan terasa melampau ! jadi,

we had a family meal dinner. all were busy with their own sector business . its like a small restaurant. haha then suddenly my brother fried nuggets. it was like hey, thats out of the menu ?! but then he said. its been so long he hadnt eat one. im like , what ? thats the food that i consume at condo usually when we are lazy. yes, i missed my brother being home. thankfully he is home now. my holidays are great just as it is. a real  holiday would be even better, because that is how we get to spend a lot more times together as a family. but his holiday is not schedule. who knows when he'll be back. obviously , we quarrel ! but good moments just tops it all. i remembered he hated me walking beside him ,because that will make me look like his girl friend. fear not, i pon xnak people look like that too. then because he went to boarding school since form 1 i didnt get to know him well. then when he graduated from school, we didnt have the chemistry to live under the same roof. seriously i remembered the moment when it was just moments away before my fist hit him. how stupid of me to even think of hitting my own relative. how short tempered i was. how emotional i was back then. but it was him who repaired the situation. to think back its, funny, really. all because of posters. oh well. enough with the flash back drama. though how ignorant, chicky , naughty he will always be my brother.... ok this makes it look like hes dead or something. no he isnt. well he will someday when its his time.  i just know im going to missed him . my holiday is ending. so is his.

it is something brave of me writing about my brother. i usually shuts the door whenever people asked about my personal life. ill go straight away swing my mood and stop the conversation. everything else ill be really open, trust me, my conversation sometimes do get out of hand. unless i feel like opening up to someone, you are considered special to know it. sounds that i opened up to everyone. no i didnt really do that. now i felt sorry to those that keeps on asking , and i keep on shutting. an apologize is offered.

secrets. some secrets are meant to be kept away from others. secrets of who we really are, where we came from, what made us change can never be known to all. only He knows it all. how humans are just as weak as anyone could imagine.and how humans mouth are like ducks resisting to quack. how hard it is resist oneself in telling others. but there are still humans out there who can be trusted, oh how i believes this deeply. humans are unpredictable no denial but all we need is just secrets to be kept with lots of trust, don't we.

p/s : currently watching roswell drama. in case you haven't heard its and old drama back in the late 90's early 2000. obviously american made. no hell way I'm watching korean or even japanese. how i enjoy the decent culture in it. xda la nak kissing sini sana, sex scene sekejap kejap. 90210, my goodness dalam 1 episod je berapa kali ada oi ! pening pale saya tengok. bukan terasa teringin, lagi nak Muntah aduyai !

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