26 March 2011
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
there's like tons of scholarship there and millions are applying. so what to do now? am i eligible ? only the Mighty knows. i am stil praying for ***** !
i now know that i have no one supporting me. ****** ? whats that ? please. they tried to congratulate me, well certain did,but please, i can see from your face that you didnt mean it. you were disappointing in me. i know. i can see it. you just bluntly congratulate me. they want so much of me. you think i didnt ? try and be in my shoe please. why do you only see the good ones? please open up your mind ! have mercy. and now my cousin is currently working in US. well he got the best student there so the road is open. now, the expectation is disappointment are at even higher stake.
whereas, theres lot worst than me. why can you all see that ? all you want is success. have you not notice and felt the emotion i have been through. i hate to say all this but, its not nice to just keep it to yourself. talk to them ? yea right they will understand. it never work. well it never did. things are different now. people change. life goes on so fast that you didnt notice time flies.
i know, i admit. i was shocked too. it isnt what i expected. it was worst than i expect. but whats done is done. the Mighty has a reason for this. its all my fault. i have been rude to everyone, especially my mom, dad, brothers and sister. i hate the way they see me. the success build was history and present is different. i was startled too ! people worst than me got better and now has achieved a success beyond what i can do. please , what do i feel ? obviously a lot worst than you know.
life is like a cycle. soemtimes you are up and there are times you are down. i am at the bottom now. GOD knows when i will get up back ~
i hate life. i just couldnt commit it due to the love and oath i had given to HIM.
list of schoalrship webs :
الحمد لله for still being with me