13 MAC 2009
the day i was strike twice in my heart. but with a grin.
here it goes.........
The day before yesterday, edleen texted me to bring pandu's uniform. why ?
sebab akan dapat award due to my achievement in PMR as a Pandu.
then today, as sceduled, i had my chemistry and mod math paper it was ok. except in chemistry i never heard of mercury formula and as usual i did my "shot". after all it was just a March test. like i used to say....hahhaha. pei vern will definitely slap her forehead if she hears this....hahhaha. and thats the GRIN.
Lepas tu, Wow ! Roudhah datang sekolah ! so does Adlan. well, i am just speechless. they ( roudhah, athyrah, diyana ) were hugging like mad. i ....as expected hate those kind of stuff (e.g hugs, kisses, muax ) oh my ! nevertheless i greeted roudhah. and wat a word to describe, she wore scarf, like ..unexpected ! but i am happy for her that she had found the hidayah from ALLAH. :) i went next door (4 Usaha) and sat with pei, syai, and jan. kononnya studying for mod math... but we did. well for a while. lepas tu lepas tu kan, roudhah datang duk with us. and i was so ..... what can i say, my feelings are mixed. i am happy for her. yet i am jealous of her. she is able to go to asrama MRSM LAngkawi lak tuh. by the way, she told us stories of how's like to be in it. macam dia jadi student representative for form 4, they started their studies... i mean kajian studies. her group of 3 is studying on the cure of "cikukungnya" or "chikungunya" ah wat ever ! then, they always have tonnes of home work until she had to stay up late to finish it. and on top of all the school is like a Country. in the month of september there will be an election and ROudhah is going for it !!! go Roudhah GO !! but Roudhah tell u wat...? i am so envy of u. u were given a chance to study in that prestigious school. unlike me i am not accepted. if i were u, i would be working my as off ! u were lcky. bukan just top mrsm tapi top teknik school pun awk dapat. wahhh !!!!
physically, i showed a happy and smilly face. but actually i was crying INSIDE.
then she had to go. but oh ! she told us, 'couple' is HAram. well i guess that too. and she said she had to buy more bigger clothes...hahahha the school teached her to be on the right path. and that was it. she left
when i got back to my class, my friend were saying... "Aqilah ! Pn Kalson cari awak" ohhh.. cikgu cakap, how am i suppose to receive the award when i am not a member of REnjer. AH ! not a member? excuse me? i have been a member of PAndu Puteri since i was 10 years old. what the heck ? she showed me the list of name, and my name wasn't in it. oh my this is why i hate my school's Pandu Puteri. i am always left out. Guess what ! she said, i could not take the award because due to the office boy who did not fax the answer paper. and i was like..... oooookaaaaaayyy. she should not let that happen should she !!!!?? ahhhhh ! because of that i had to go back home late !!!
2.30 pm ??!!! when school ended 12.40 ?!! ahh and i saw syakirah went to receive her 'tali pekeliling' wow ! now dia dapat saya ?
i got back home went straight up to my room and mourn. i cried. did my prayers and i wanted to sleep, but mom said she'll be waiting for me to eat lunch. and during that time i told her. told her what was inside my heart that was grumbling. she always said that there's hikmah behind all this. yea i know... ALLAH is the mighty and theres always a reason for the doings.... but YA ALLAH tolong lar bagi hidayah kpd ku...... aku masih tak rase tenang.
that evening i checked the mrsm 2nd intake. ............. i failed !
just when i thought i could experience learning in a boarding school like Roudhah, ALLAH stopped me. i still cant figure it out... why ?
my japanese class will end soon. and it is just right for the 2nd intake. why ?
that has always been in my mind.
but alhamdulillah, thankfully i am able to control myself. well a bit. but a little is better than nothing right? pray for me that i will get the third intake. Amin !